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BRILLIANTORATORANDAWESOME

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What Does Being Gay Mean to You?

Tue Mar 9, 2010 11:50 PM EST
health, mental-health, identity, gay-interest
By BrilliantOratorAndAwesome

Live Poll

How do you identify yourself?

View Results
  • 86648
    Gay/Lesbian
    29%
  • 86649
    Straight
    59%
  • 86650
    Bisexual
    4%
  • 86651
    Other
    8%

VoteTotal Votes: 49

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There are a lot of misconceptions around homosexuality and gay men. During my time here on newsvine, I have seen some very angry and hurtful descriptions of gay people. Among the worst depictions narratives that implied that gays were the same as animals or that they were lustful predators that cared only for sex. Among the more subtle were the stereotypes that characterize homosexuality, the effeminate men or butch lesbian. Most often ignored was the ability for two people of the same sex or gender to actually fall in love or have a meaningful relationship and instead the opposition to same sex marriage characterized gays as more impulsive and more likely to need divorces. This ignores the fact that if you have to work for something you are more likely to appreciate it once you've gained it.

Homosexuality implies a sex act but those that live the reality daily realize that its not only the physical attraction but also the mental attraction that characterize their interactions with members of their own sex. Another misconception is that gay men and women are for some reason always thinking about sex, that they have it on the front of their mind at all times. Psychology however, indicates that orientation has no positive correlation with an increased sex dive.

Gay men and women exist in a spectrum, some of them more effeminate and more masculine depending on the personality. Being gay isn't just a orientation it is also an identity. I for one am what I like to call a heart-breaker, I don't appear to be gay and im discrete about my orientation so women have a tendency to fall for me when all I'm looking for is their friendship. Which leads me to the title of this article, What does being gay mean to you?

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Published to:

  • BrilliantOratorAndAwesome's Column, All of Newsvine
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  • Public Discussion (63)
BrilliantOratorAndAwesome

Keep it civil people

  • 6 votes
Reply#1 - Tue Mar 9, 2010 11:53 PM EST
ThreeCents

If someone lets me know that that are gay, I just figure it an invitation to get to know someone who lives a life a little different than mine. Talk to a gay person long enough and you'll find they are about the same and about as different as anybody else.

  • 16 votes
Reply#2 - Wed Mar 10, 2010 12:33 AM EST
GoldenGateMami_Susi

What does being gay mean to me?

That they human beings like me and the only difference is that they are attracted to someone of the same sex for all the same reasons I'm attracted and need someone of a different sex in my life.

They deserve to be treated with the same level of respect, caring, understanding, love just like me.

That any hurt they receive at the hands of intolerance not only affect them they affect the whole of humanity because what you do to 1 you do to all.

That they are more than the sum total of the physical love they share with their partners.

  • 18 votes
Reply#3 - Wed Mar 10, 2010 1:06 AM EST
ThreeCents

GGMS,

I like the way that you think.

  • 10 votes
#3.1 - Wed Mar 10, 2010 1:08 AM EST
GoldenGateMami_Susi

Thanks ThreeCents

Have an awesome day!

:)

  • 6 votes
#3.2 - Wed Mar 10, 2010 7:41 AM EST
ERich-356044

Agreed!

Being gay means that they are attracted to someone of the same sex. period.

They are human, and deserve the same respect and rights that straight people have.

E

  • 6 votes
#3.3 - Wed Mar 10, 2010 3:45 PM EST
LanaD

That they human beings like me and the only difference is that they are attracted to someone of the same sex for all the same reasons I'm attracted and need someone of a different sex in my life.

So very much agreed.

  • 5 votes
#3.4 - Wed Mar 10, 2010 4:48 PM EST
GoldenGateMami_Susi

:) ERich & LanaD

  • 5 votes
#3.5 - Wed Mar 10, 2010 6:31 PM EST
Reply
ombra

What does being gay mean to you?

I'm not gay, so being gay means nothing to me.

I don't believe in "gay" marriage, "gay" rights or "gay" hate crimes.

I only believe in basic human rights, that extend to everyone. There is only the right to marry, and the same basic rights that belong to everyone else. Who you sleep with, or who you are attracted to is your business as long as both are consenting adults.

Gay has nothing to do with who I like as a human being, how they treat others has everything to do with it.

  • 8 votes
Reply#4 - Wed Mar 10, 2010 1:33 AM EST
ThreeCents

ombra,

I see your point from an intellectual standpoint but from a pragmatic one, I am inclined to expect to enact laws that address unfairness when it is clear that discrimination is at play. I think it is reasonable to discuss gay rights and specific hate crimes and develop "large umbrella" policies that include protection for gay people. In an ideal world, I agree that these laws would not be needed.

  • 9 votes
#4.1 - Wed Mar 10, 2010 1:54 AM EST
ombra

There really are no "gay" rights, just the same rights as everyone else.

Unfortunately, until such time when all people get those rights equally, under law and with equal protections, you're right, the laws are needed. I only wish they weren't necessary.

  • 10 votes
#4.2 - Wed Mar 10, 2010 2:11 AM EST
Reply
JmetheSad

Being gay to me means another person just like me. Sometimes bitchy (pardon my language), sometimes sensitive, sometimes a workaholic, sometimes a party animal, sometimes a sex monster, sometimes a priss, sometimes a dick (pardon my language again), sometimes a homebody, and sometimes just another person in the crowd - no matter if gay or lesbian.

  • 5 votes
Reply#5 - Wed Mar 10, 2010 2:01 AM EST
Tom W.-670850

It means I have to put up with dumb peoples attitudes, as you have witnessed!

It just means that I happen to be attracked to guys, not girls, that's it!

  • 6 votes
#5.1 - Wed Mar 10, 2010 2:28 AM EST
Reply
Dustin-265090

It means being myself and being happy because I know who I am.

  • 8 votes
Reply#6 - Wed Mar 10, 2010 2:30 AM EST
peterb10

What being gay means to me? To be kind and thoughtful of others feeling, to love who I want to, to go to movies, the theatre, listen to music, play games on the computer; not much different than a straight person. I have always been open about my lifestyle so I've never experienced any homophobic attitudes directed at me, it's hard to imagine my life any different than it is. I'm very thankful to live in a city and country that for the most part accepts gay's & lesbians, thanks for the opportunity to express my views.

  • 4 votes
Reply#7 - Wed Mar 10, 2010 3:06 AM EST
Ray Kaye

How do you identify yourself?
What Does Being Gay Mean to You?
I identify myself as a human, fellow earthling. I am not gay, I have been married (no longer) and I have one offspring. As I have said in other posts, I am a Hindu (Sanatana Dharma) and I have been celebate for over 20 years, as I have taken that vow, willfully.

I have reached deep within myself to answer these two questions, and while I have experianced anger as well as hate, I can say with all honestly that I have never hated anyone. I have disliked or hated in the past, the actions of many people, but never to the point where I wanted to do harm. Sounds strange then, that I would carry a .357 24/7, but we are permitted to defend ourselves and our other friends in this world.

People, are people, they are what they are. Love is what loves is. I can't put it more simpler. For me, I'm at the stage in my life where detachment is becoming more important to me. That is difficult to explain and not part of the question and answer, anyway. I think that monogamy is best, with either orientation. For most Hindu's, I would say that most don't think about it, to be honest, but perhaps if asked, they would silently say they are not for it. However, they would never turn anyone away from the temple. I can tell you from my point of view, they would not organize nor funnel a thin dime to keep people from their civil rights, that's the honest truth. If they did, I would be gone in a heartbeat.

  • 1 vote
Reply#8 - Wed Mar 10, 2010 3:42 AM EST
Luther28

To me it is ones sexual preference and beyond that little more. My path crosses with people of all stripes in my day to day life and how I am treated is returned in kind. I often wonder why many seem to dwell on this subject matter and feel fit to judge others and what goes on between consenting adults behind closed doors or how one opts to live their lives. Unless they are living in another country we have much larger problems facing us than our neighbors sexuality, a non issue for me.

  • 1 vote
Reply#9 - Wed Mar 10, 2010 7:14 AM EST
vanwood

I have gay family members. I am not a homophobe. My only problem with gay people is that they all think the rest of us care if they are gay. Keep it to yourself. I don't go around flaunting my heterosexuality. I don't need to tell everyone on the planet that I'm straight. Why must I know all the gay folk? A persons sexual and physical choices need not be discussed. I just don't get it.

  • 2 votes
#10 - Wed Mar 10, 2010 7:20 AM EST
Kozakura-1552259

Oh but you do. Think about it. You flirt with a member of the opposite gender or even just check her out. That's broadcasting your sexuality. Picture of your Girlfriend. Broadcasting. Playboy/porn mag. Broadcasting(noone reads those just for the articles). Talking about your sex life. Broadcasting. Face it, lots of little things that you do every day tell others what your sexual preference is.

  • 1 vote
#10.1 - Wed Mar 10, 2010 2:45 PM EST
Ray Kaye

Kozakura-1552259

Oh but you do. *** I can't agree with that statement. Had you said it in general about "some" straights or "most", then I'd be the first to agree with you, to some degree. You, nor I, could possibly know what this individual does.

  • 2 votes
#10.2 - Wed Mar 10, 2010 4:03 PM EST
Kozakura-1552259

I can see your point. It was wrong of me to imply that I know how he conducts himself. Most people(from my own personal experience, based on myself and other people that I have met) enjoy sharing information about themselves with other people. For instance, my husband and I are buying our first home. I've even gone so far as to share that bit of information with a complete stranger at a grocery store just because we happened to have a conversation that went in that direction. In general, people who keep to themselves and do not discuss anything about themselves are seen as odd, anti-social, snobby, or stuck-up. If vanwood does happen to be one of those that just doesn't share, he needs to understand that just because he chooses not to exercise that right, doesn't mean he has a right to expect the same of others(no matter their preference). I would also like to add that unless he finds it equally disturbing for straights to broadcast their sexuality in front of him, however subtle, he is in fact a homophobe.

  • 1 vote
#10.3 - Wed Mar 10, 2010 5:11 PM EST
Ray Kaye

Well, feel free to share. Sharing is good. Congrats on the first home, you two. It can be an exciting thing! Enjoy and best of luck and blessings!

    #10.4 - Wed Mar 10, 2010 10:01 PM EST
    pleasecometoyoursenses

    I am still sicken by the use of the word homophobia. Political Correctness has taken a serious mental health issue and is now using it as a way to label people who do not agree with a homosexual lifestyle.

    How does someone take the extreme and irrational fear of something and make it now mean bigotry?

    So what is the condition for people how hate blacks, Jews, Hispanics, etc. We call them racist. We dont called them Culturephobes or whatever it would be.

    Personally I try to love and accept everyone. I do not always agree with their behaviors. That goes for straight, gay , bi or whatever. I have gay and straight friends. I do not treat either one differently. Being Christian I do not agree with the lifestyle that homosexuals live by but then again my sister is still married and living with her boyfriend so I dont agree with her lifestyle either. But in either case I would love a homosexual the same as my sister, because I believe as a Christian I am called to love everyone.

    If a person hates some that is a homosexual they are a bigot. If I disagree with your lifestlye but still show the kindness I would show any other human being how does that make me a bigot?

    • 2 votes
    #10.5 - Thu Mar 11, 2010 2:38 PM EST
    BrilliantOratorAndAwesome

    The only reason you would be considered a bigot is if you tried to legislate policy to block rights to homosexuals (or your sister) or if ranted about hate and anger. Since you are doing neither, you aren't bigoted (by my standards anyways).

    • 1 vote
    #10.6 - Thu Mar 11, 2010 2:46 PM EST
    pleasecometoyoursenses

    Thanks,

    I do find it saddening that these stupid churches that say "God hates ..." instead of displaying God's love to all His people.

    I find it saddening that homosexuals are not given the same rights as others. I do not believe in discrimination.

    In my opinion I believe every couple that wants to get married get a civil union. If you want a marriage ceremony then go to a church. There are many churches that do marry homosexuals. I just do not like that idea that is has to be black or white on this subject. The civil union would grant the same rights for everyone to be equal will keeping marriage sacred also to the church. But too many people are not for compromise nowadays.

    • 1 vote
    #10.7 - Thu Mar 11, 2010 2:55 PM EST
    BrilliantOratorAndAwesome

    The problem is that there are some rights given exclusively to married couples that are not extended to those in civil unions, or at least that has been the claim on other threads. If the same rights can be extended to civil unions that are available in marriages then fine. There is also the argument that can be made that if you serperate linguistically same sex and opposite sex marriages as one being a civil union, you create the space in which a hierarchy can emerge, with one being seen at least on the surface to be better than the other. which would inadvertently cause one of the two to become second class citizens (im guessing it wont be the opposite sex marriages).

      #10.8 - Thu Mar 11, 2010 3:02 PM EST
      Just an Observation-826313

      please,

      I am still sicken by the use of the word homophobia.

      How does someone take the extreme and irrational fear of something and make it now mean bigotry?

      Just an FYI, phobia, in general, is a fear of something but in the case of homophobia, xenophobe and a few others it can also mean an irrational negative attitude or prejudice against.

      So, homophobia can be a specific type of bigotry. I doubt this will change your distaste for the word but I just wanted to let you know that in most cases it is being used correctly.

        #10.9 - Thu Mar 11, 2010 3:16 PM EST
        pleasecometoyoursenses

        Thanks Just for your comments.

        I guess I am confused why that is even included in the definition, but oh well.

        I guess I am tired of seeing these labeling words thrown around in situations that they would not apply.

        I have expressed my feelings more than once about the whole marriage issue. I have done so just like I did above and I never try to use a holier than thou attitude. I believe that if I say I hate someone that is like hating my brother. IMO I believe we are all children of God and all deserve to be loved and respected. But because I do not agree totally with the homosexual issue at the time I have been called a homophobe.

        Just like I have disagreed with the President's policy on something and been called racist. Or expressed how I am pro-life in my beliefs but called a woman hater and believe they should not have a choice.

        Just like people when President Bush was in office disagreed with the war that equates them to soldier haters and Un-American.

        What has happened to common sense? What has happened to looking at an indiivual and judging them for who they are, not what political view they hold.

        I would be naive to believe that there are not people who hate President Obama just because he is part black or that a lot of organization have bigots in them. But I have learned that I would rather get to know someone before instead of giving sweeping generalizations.

        IMO that is what is destroying America if we are so busy defending ourselves we don't get anything done to improve our way of living.

        • 2 votes
        #10.10 - Thu Mar 11, 2010 3:39 PM EST
        Just an Observation-826313

        I reserve bigot and homophobe for the people who use freak, deviant, pervert, sick and other similar pejoratives when describing homosexuals.

        A mere disapproval of homosexuality, whether it is personal or religious beliefs, does not justify the bigot or homophobe label.

          #10.11 - Thu Mar 11, 2010 4:07 PM EST
          pleasecometoyoursenses

          Again I appreciate you comments.

          I just wish we as a Nation could come together and discuss things in a civil manner.

          Everyone of every race, sex, religion, sexual preference, etc and the ideas we all have make this country great. Believing that I am more important than you, because you are this or that is what makes this country horrible.

          I keep praying someday we will all wake up from this nightmare of hate and do what is right for everyone. Until then people with common sense need to fight this bigotry on both sides at all costs.

          Okay off the soap box.

          Gay people are people. They have feelings just like everyone else. They laugh, cry, yell, work, play, live, die, heal, hurt, listen, talk etc. just like everyone else. No matter if you agree or disagree with their thoughts and behaviors they deserve the same respect as any other person.

          • 2 votes
          #10.12 - Thu Mar 11, 2010 4:18 PM EST
          Just an Observation-826313

          I agree 100% please.

          • 1 vote
          #10.13 - Thu Mar 11, 2010 4:23 PM EST
          sezmeDeleted
          sezmeDeleted
          Reply
          Ruel RaphaelDeleted
          mori

          BEING GAY MEANS: having your Mother's womb filled with "estrogen like" hormones, effecting YOUR developing basal nucleus of the striatus terminalis. DES -- diethylstibisterol, is a main culprit for most gay and transgendered people that are over 40. Younger gays and trans people can attribute their hypothalmic feelings to xeno-estrogens (ubiquitous chemicals in our environment) Plastic bottles, medications, pesticides, foods, ~~~ xeno estrogen's are everywhere! If a Mother is pregnant, and is exposed--- that baby will have some degree of muted/exaggerated gender/sexual expression. It's a continuum, most men and women are on a sliding scale of gender/sexual expression..., some are John Wayne, some are Rue Paul, Some live a life time hiding how they feel, some come out of the womb screaming.... In the end, it's a birth defect we must live with, to celebrate or hide....

          • 2 votes
          Reply#12 - Wed Mar 10, 2010 9:10 AM EST
          ThreeCents

          I am not up on the physiology of sexual orientation and the potential for environmental impacts on it. But I do know that using words like "culprit" and "birth defect" in this context is not necessary.

          • 2 votes
          #12.1 - Wed Mar 10, 2010 9:27 AM EST
          Just an Observation-826313

          Mori's synthetic steriod and moderm chemical theory fails to explain the occurance of homosexuality before any of these were created by man nor how the estimated numbers of homosexuals have remained relatively constant despite the increased usage of these theorized culprits.

          In other words it does not hold water.

          • 5 votes
          #12.2 - Wed Mar 10, 2010 10:19 AM EST
          LMSLMS

          @mori: do you really, truly know what you're talking about? Where are you getting this from? What is your educational background/ training?

          I don't think you have a clue...

          • 3 votes
          #12.3 - Wed Mar 10, 2010 12:07 PM EST
          mori

          Milk-thistle-- a common herb used for centuries, is a phyto-estrogen; as is yam root, as is so many others in the plant kingdom; also severe stress while a women is pregnant can cause estrogen to increase.... Estrogen, and estrogen like hormones are peptides with a three dimensional sstructure. If in your Mother's womb, a botanical flavinoid that looks like estrogen attaches to a site that responds to estrogen, estrogen "like" effects take place in the formation of brain structures and body structures. So--- even in ages past, people were born with defect/blessing (whatever you want to call it). There has been an explosion post world war two, because of DES (google DES sons/daughters) It was a drug that was supposed stop miscarriage (which it did not do)-- but ultimately caused allot of post war gay/transgendered boys and girls.... Yes, there were gay people throughout history, but we have an EXPLOSION in this last generation, because of DES in particular, but also the many, many xeno estrogen's that continue to occupy every aspect of our lives. Now, to whether this is a birth defect or a colorful swath of God's handy work, is up to the individual. I would not have wished my transgenderness on any of my children, I consider my situation to be a birth defect that I have chosen to embrace and celebrate. It has not made my life easy or smooth, but it is who I am--- and I'm extremely happy and at peace. For someone to tell me that my condition is a colorful wave of God's hand, well...., it just doesn't ring true for me. God knows that the corruption of all nature causes all sorts of problems for individuals --- for instance~~ I'm glad I was not born blind, but if I had been, I would deal with it with thankfulness and praise. I'm not a religious person, I believe Jesus Christ was who He said He was though; It's just maddening how religion has bastardized Jesus! We are fallen creatures, fallen in spirit and body--- we need redemption. While we live in these broken bodies, we make the best of it. If we are born gay, let us make the best of it and continue to praise God.

          • 1 vote
          #12.4 - Wed Mar 10, 2010 12:16 PM EST
          LMSLMS

          mori: i'm sorry your life has been difficult and am happy to hear you are at peace and happy now... but I am still questioning your assertions and you never answered my questions...

          • 2 votes
          #12.5 - Wed Mar 10, 2010 1:16 PM EST
          mori

          LMSLMS --- Hi... yeah, it's kinda shocking to hear that being gay or trans might be something physiological rather than..., spiritual? I don't even know what else might be the cause, if it's not physiological?(that whole deal that mom and dad caused it, is long ago out the window--- I loved my childhood!) I think many people believe God created them 'THAT' way..., and in truth-- He did. But it was not the original intent, according to gestalt of Judeo/christian theology. But, God has allowed us to be what we are according to His purposes--- it's what we do with it that matters. I desire to share this aspect of being gay or trans, because most never hear it. It is truth, and I'm not making this up. If you google this subject, it will come up as I say. Some are just not going to "want" to believe it~~ no one likes to think they were born broken, but when we come to the conclusion that we are all broken (just in different ways) it doesn't sting so much.

          In a nut shell--- we can create gay rats in a lab--- at will.... All that needs to be done is add an estrogenic substance to a gestating mommy rat, and the male rats born to this process exhibit what's called "lordodic posturing" --while being stimulated sexually (by smells). This means the male rat thinks another male rat is going to mount him. of course, the other male rat thinks "what the hell???" and the gay rat just goes about his business. This male rat never finds a female rat to mount, because he doesn't mount. We can't seen personality traits in the animal kingdom, but if we could, we'd see all manner of the same personalities we see in our gay/transgendered world. Female gay rats are always trying to mount other rats--- we see cows do that all the time. Right now, there is so much going on in a chemical sense with livestock, that gayness in farm animals is quite prevalent.

          I never find many of my gay friends that want to give these thoughts the light of day. For the life of me, I don't know why they shut this down in their minds? The drug companies and doctors have an incredible vested interest in keeping this quiet because of lawsuits, but you'd think the individuals affected would be really pissed? Of course, if you've spent a life time coming to terms with your particular bent, you are probably practicing some pretty incredible psychological gymnastics to feel ok~~ then some jerk comes along and say's you've got a birth defect! Sorry if I offended anyone with that word. It's where I'm at, and proud that I'm a normal part of broken humanity saved by the blood of the Lamb.

            #12.6 - Wed Mar 10, 2010 1:43 PM EST
            LMSLMS

            mori:

            I agree that if you're gay or trans it's how you are born... I do not, however, agree with the God part at all... But I think what I was really questioning was the accuracy of your assertions about the role that estrogen plays... But anyway, sounds like you are good with who you are and that's the important part...

            • 2 votes
            #12.7 - Wed Mar 10, 2010 2:12 PM EST
            mori

            but think about it... If everyone in the world realised that this truly is something that they are born with, regardless of the "God part". That it was physiological/biological, and there is nothing ANYBODY, OR ANYTHING can do about it--- like being born blind.... Well then, wouldn't there be incredible effort to identify gender confused children, and let them know they are not confused-- just incontrovertibly different. (not worse, not normal, --- but different) and it's ok. Maybe parents and schools would cater to these special children, maybe churches would back off their relentless "CHANGE" regimens. As it stands, even the gay community wants to throw logs on to the fire of "I don't know why I'm this way?" --- but ya do Blanche... It just doesn't feel good to acquiesce to brokeness. It is the most cathartic event in ones life, to admit to being abnormal---- and by extension special!! I'm special damn it! (smile) and honestly, you'd have to meet me to know the ALL of it! (big smile) but ya know, that's what's so cool about our whole community, with all our brokeness comes incredible gifts, that supposed "normal" humanity doesn't have. It's funny, I wouldn't have wanted my sons to deal with what I did--- but I wouldn't change a thing in my life. I guess, we all have to be what God has called us to be--- even if it doesn't feel like a call at all.

            • 1 vote
            #12.8 - Wed Mar 10, 2010 3:40 PM EST
            Reply
            BrilliantOratorAndAwesome

            There have been lots of super awesome comments so far guys, keep it up. This is by far the most intelligent thread ive read so far here on newsvine

            • 2 votes
            Reply#13 - Wed Mar 10, 2010 9:18 AM EST
            weRdoomed

            Being gay simply means that a person is attracted to other people of the same gender as themselves.

            It is still a mystery to why so many people are so frightened of homosexuals...and why they let that fear translate to hatred...

            • 2 votes
            Reply#14 - Wed Mar 10, 2010 9:51 AM EST
            Just an Observation-826313

            Being gay is simply and not so simply being me.

            Gay is just one small part that makes up the whole of me. I don't go around screaming I am gay, as suggested by vanwood, nor do I go out of my way to hide. I am me, I do not put on an act, I do not pretend.

            Sexuality is a continuum with is a sub continuum on how ones sexuality is expressed, personality if you will. I fall towards the homosexual end of the sexuality continuum and within that I would probably be wieghted towards the masculine end but not overly so.

            My boyfriend jokes "I am gay but his boyfriend is straight" and about once a month makes a "You're not gay" or "You're a straight man" comment to me. His family has even asked him "Are you sure he (referring to me) is gay?". I find it quite amusing.

            If a scale was created for sexuality with 1 being straight and 10 being homosexual I would be a 9. If we scaled the sub continuum of expression 1 being hyper-masculine and 10 being hyper-feminine I would be an 3. So my sexuality expression score is 9-3.

            My boyfriend would score around a 8-6. He is gay but on occasion finds some women sexually desirable, he would make an extremely beautiful women but has no desire to ever do drag, has a penchant for designer clothing, and can be quite the diva at times. In other words he is a slightly effeminate, predominately gay man.

            • 2 votes
            Reply#15 - Wed Mar 10, 2010 10:12 AM EST
            mori

            I love the way you've divided this up, Just... Being transgendered, as opposed to gay, I've have played the same 1-10 game. As to feminine scale, it's hard, cuz I love looking pretty, I love looking "female" type sexy. There is nothing in me that is attracted to, or wanting to be a male image--- yet I am. If I ever were to have "the operation" I wouldn't want to be married to a man. I would love to be made love to in that way, but it wouldn't be right cuz, I'm not attracted to the men pphysically, or emotionally. Very much attracted to women, but no real interest in "penetrating" if you know what I mean? So, I'm kinda non-sexual. If you met me, you'd feel as though I'm feminine looking, but I don 't sound or act flamie--- most of my gay friends were mad at me when I started doing drag shows, they said I made a nice looking man, "why would I want to be a women?" they knew it wasn't a campy game I was playing, they knew I wanted to be a women--- it pissed off my best friend! To this day we are not close, because of my transgenderdness, He absolutely loves being masculine and loves masculine men--- has no idea what a queen he comes across though! thinks he's the most masculine guy on the planet.

            • 2 votes
            #15.1 - Wed Mar 10, 2010 12:34 PM EST
            Reply
            steven-791492

            being gay is one tiny part of me....tiny is the wrong word.....I am a man nothing tiny here.....:)

            I have a 28 year relationship, pay taxes, buy groceries, pay my bills....

            • 4 votes
            Reply#16 - Wed Mar 10, 2010 10:35 AM EST
            mybrainworks

            what does being hetrosexual mean to those who are? being one or another does not or should not define one's self.

              Reply#17 - Wed Mar 10, 2010 11:09 AM EST
              weRdoomed

              it is easy to say except that the dynamic between men and women socially, in the work place, and at home are defined largely by heterosexuality. This is in addition to the TV we see, the movies that are made, literature, and fashion.

              Our sexuality is so ingrained in us - we don't realize how much is connected to it.

                #17.1 - Wed Mar 10, 2010 11:11 AM EST
                Reply
                Al 616

                I am gay. Being gay means that I am physically, emotionally, spiritually, and romantically attracted to men. I wish to find that special someone and settle down with him in a life-long romantic partnership.

                I'm also black, so I get racism from the gay community on top of the intense homophobia from the black community.

                It means that I have had to think for myself and do quite a bit of introspection that most people are able to skip because they fall within the statistical norm and don't have people challenging their right to exist.

                • 7 votes
                Reply#18 - Wed Mar 10, 2010 12:12 PM EST
                ERich-356044

                If I could give you a hug through the vine here... I would!

                My sincere wishes that you find that life-long partnership.

                Hugs!

                E

                  #18.1 - Wed Mar 10, 2010 9:00 PM EST
                  GoldenGateMami_Susi

                  Al

                  May you be smiled upon with the gift of true love.

                  • 1 vote
                  #18.2 - Thu Mar 11, 2010 12:32 PM EST
                  Al 616

                  Thank you both.

                  SMILES!

                    #18.3 - Fri Mar 12, 2010 2:59 PM EST
                    Nataraja

                    Awww. Honey, you get a big internet hug from me. *hug*

                    Go with the blessings of the universe. :D

                      #18.4 - Tue Jun 29, 2010 12:10 PM EDT
                      Reply
                      A Wadsworth

                      I have worked with, supervised, and been supervised by, am friends with and not friends with others and the one thing that I have learned is when you remove all the labels, we are all human beings just doing the best we can.

                      • 4 votes
                      Reply#19 - Wed Mar 10, 2010 1:31 PM EST
                      martinez2009

                      what does being gay mean to me?

                      im not a homosexual , i see nothing wrong with it its a personal choice .

                      The real question is what is the differance between being straight and gay ?? they both has a significant other, the love sometimes, have hook ups, and have sex . thie biggest differance is they are the same sex.

                        Reply#20 - Wed Mar 10, 2010 3:18 PM EST
                        JanayB

                        Being gay is loving someone of the same sex. It is the SAME love that I, a straight person, feels.

                        Being gay is natural; just as being straight is natural.

                        Being gay does not define a person; nor does being straight.

                        Being gay should not mean less rights; they should be able to enjoy the same rights as straight people.

                        Being gay just....is. And it is wonderful! :)
                        The same way that being straight just... is. And it is wonderful.

                        • 3 votes
                        Reply#21 - Wed Mar 10, 2010 5:29 PM EST
                        Jason-632265

                        I believe life is a gift and you should be able to live your life in a way that makes you happy, under certain constraints obviously. I feel very strongly that people have the right to be happy. I am straight but I have gay friends and honestly I don't act any differently around them then I do around my straight freinds, the fact that they are gay just isn't an issue to me. I really don't see a big difference in how they live there lives and how I live mine. People, most people not all, want someone to care about and to be cared for by someone else, they want to be successful, they want to be able to enjoy the things in life they enjoy, etc... regardless of sexual orientation. The only difference I see is in the people they choose to have sex, relationships, etc... with which really isn't an issue for me...

                        • 3 votes
                        Reply#22 - Thu Mar 11, 2010 9:59 AM EST
                        tdk022755

                        I am a live and let live person. I do not believe that people "turn" gay. I think that people are born being what they are and I strongly believe it has to do with the way their brain is structured and hormones are released. I believe that people who are gay can raise children and do anyting else that anyone else in society can do. I do not believe that a gay person is any more of a threat to another person than anyone else in society. I belive that people have the right to love who they love and have the right to a private life like everyone else. Homosexuality has been around since the beginning of time. I don't care on way or the other what people do sexually as long as they are consenting adults. I have many homosexual friends and I like them as much as I do any of my other friends. I just don't see a problem with it.

                          Reply#23 - Thu Mar 11, 2010 3:07 PM EST
                          mizimel

                          Being gay to me means I get to spend every March 25th in a same-sex bar dancing with my cross-dressing nephew. And as I always tell him every year, "We are the hottest b****es in here!"

                          LOL

                          :-)

                          • 1 vote
                          Reply#24 - Thu Mar 11, 2010 7:28 PM EST
                          JanayB

                          I love it!

                          :)

                            #24.1 - Thu Mar 11, 2010 7:32 PM EST
                            Reply
                            sezmeDeleted
                            sezmeDeleted
                            sezmeDeleted
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